Chinn Family Funnies

Me: "Why did you throw your chocolate milk on the floor?"
Kitty: "Cuz I wuz done with it."

Me: "I'm sorry sweetie, but John and Kate [Plus 8] are getting a divorce."
May: "They are?!! Who will get the dogs?!!"

Nightmares

A couple weeks ago my sister took May and Baden to see Coraline. A couple days later I was waking the kids up for school and May tells me that she had a bad dream. She said that in the dream she had two mommies, and she didn't know which one was her real mommy. So I asked if one of the mommies had BUTTON EYES (!).

Her expression said: "Be serious, Mother."

Baden, taking heed of her Serious Mood says: "I know, May!!! Did one of them have a pimple??! Cuz your real mommy has a pimple!"

Ouch.

Overheard

"I like their lippies." -Kat watching the Golden Globes

"I heard that movie was inappropriate." -May
"Yeah, I want to see it!" -Baden

Chinn Family Funnies

Baden: (crying) "Oooouuuch, May May kicked me in the stomach..."

Bill: "Ah, are you okay Buddy?"

Baden: (irritated) "NO, I'm not okay. I just got kicked in the stomach."

A Bedtime Story

Me: "Baden, do you want some popcorn?"
Baden: "Yep."
Me: "Oops, it's past 8:00. Have some popcorn and then you need to go to bed."
Baden: "Darn it, I was hoping you wouldn't notice!"
May: "Oooooooo, Baden said a bad word!"
Me: "No he didn't, he said 'darn it.'"
Baden: "Yeah, damn it's a bad word."
(Me throwing exasperated evil eyes)
May: Laughing hysterically. "I knew it! I knew I could get you to say a bad word!!"

Yeah, I don't even know where to start with this one.

Send help.

Boys Will Be Boys...

"Can I put this in fire?" -Baden, holding a frozen water bottle.

(Baden staring at cookies in the oven)
Bill: "What are you doing, little man?"
Baden: "Making Cookies."
Bill: "The oven's not on. What temperature do you want it at?"
Baden: "Dudn't matter."
Bill: "How long?"
Baden: "You pick."

*FYI, this is totally how Bill cooks! Trust me, it is. When he wants to bake dinner rolls he turns the oven on, throws them in, and then comes back when the meat is done. They could be burnt or raw, doesn't matter - that's all the time they get. Further proof:

Bill proceeds to set the oven to 350, and then leaves the cookies in (while it preheats). However, Bill doesn't believe in preheating. Okay, so when the oven beeps a few minutes later Baden insists they're done and I need to take them out or they'll "roast too long." I tried telling him the beep was for the preheat, but he was having none of it.

Half baked cookies, I enjoy. Half baked bread, not so much. Half baked Chinn's, love them!

Thursday Three

1. Home Teacher: "Dear HF....and we're grateful for thy son, Jesus Christ-"
BFF Marina: "Amen."
Me: One eye peeked open and stifling a chuckle.
Home Teacher: "who died for us..."

2. Me: "This is the second time I found this in Kat's pre-school cubby."
Bill: "That's not a blanket then?"
Me: "It's a bath towel."
Bill: "Is this going on the blog??"

3. May: "Do dog's have a penis?"
Baden: "No, but dinosaurs do."

You Be The Judge!

Which is Worse??

#1: The Sitch: Last night Bill put on a DVD he just received from Netflix (a tv show from Britain, MI5, something like that). The opening scene ran on and on and on without any changes, just some bad guy receiving bad guy instructions through a headset while he creeped around a darkened office building and rifled through paperwork, snapping pictures. Nothing seemed to change throughout the scene for like 10 minutes! Bill was saying, "This is so lame...What a weird show...How does it hold anyones interest??"

The Truth: After 10 minutes (and I'm being generous!) Bill realized that the DVD was stuck and kept replaying the same 45 second scene over and over and over... (pardon me while I LOL).

The Excuse: Bill: "I was working on my laptop at the time and was therefore distracted." And he had spent the entire day at (MBA) school, which uses up the mind - that's my attempt to explain the ditsy, being the supportive wife that I am.

#2: The Sitch: Yesterday Baden had a get-to-know-you 1st grade class party at my friends house. She had a whole big carnival going on; lots of fun. Well, I had a hair appointment (with Lovely Jonathyn) and would have to be late, so I dropped off my contributions early, May walked Baden over at party time, and I showed up with fab hair about an hour late.

The Truth: Upon arrival I found May May working the ticket booth and stood talking to her. A little girl walked up to me and said, "Where do you get your hair done?" Me: "Oh you're so sweet! I go to Glen Alan." 1st Grader: "No, I mean where do I get the purple in my hair??" Through my tear filled laughter-eyes I noticed purple headed kids running around.

The Excuse: Um, I've been distracted lately?? Okay, and I really did wonder why she would ask me that. OH, and I dye my hair darker and I'm actually a natural blond. And really, I'm just crazy . . .

Which is Worse, #1 or #2?? You may cast your vote (by clicking the word "comments" just below)!

My Crazy Life

Why do people look forward to the end of Summer Vacation?? For three months we traveled, slept in, and hung around the pool. It was bliss. Why would I want that to stop?? Now though, I've just returned from my 9th school related meeting. (!) I've made umpteen trips to Target, signed any number of permission slips/logs/sign-up sheets, printed 4 different photographs to send to school - including 2 in brand new frames from Bed Bath and Beyond that I had to buy yesterday. I can't wait to go through Monday folders and see what's in store for me next week! And then, of course, there are after school activities, homework, and the never ending plea, "I'm the only one in class who - fill in the blank." I could go on, but why, why the second torture??

So with my To Do List growing faster than I can cross things off (and I'm one of those Love-To-Cross-It-Off people!) it's crucial that I find the humor in things. So I thought I'd share some Chinn Funnies and hope you'll share some of yours too. Here goes:

• I was wearing socks around the house the other day and Kat said she wanted some too. So she put on the most frilly socks she could find. Within the first 30 minutes she slipped and fell on the hardwood floor twice hurting her bum. She was frustrated after the second time, so I explained that her socks were slippery and then I put on a pair with the no skid stuff on the bottom. A little while later I went to throw something away and I saw her frilly socks in the trash. I totally thought it was funny that she threw them away!
• The kids ate toaster waffles for breakfast one morning. We always eat at the table. Well, May and Baden were done and packing up to catch the bus when I see Kat (who loves to walk them to the bus stop) standing by the backdoor holding her plate of waffles in one hand and fork lifting for a bite in the other. Me: "Kat darling, we eat at the table. What are you thinking?" (Rhetorical Question.) Kat, with big innocent eyes and sweet girly voice, "I thinking I eat it at the bus." She got me with the "I thinking," and if she's going to be that cute then she can do whatever she wants!
• May: "Will you babysit Bitty Baby for me?" Baden: "Can she watch tv?"
• Kat is the queen of "why???????" So I thought I'd mess with her when she said, "I made a big mess." Naturally I responded, "Why?" She came back with, "Never mind, Mom. K? Never mind."
• I was reading in my room one evening when Baden walked in and said, "Yeah Mom?" I just looked at him. "Mom, did you want me?" "No Sweetie. I didn't call you." He sighed and walked out. From the other room I heard, "MAAAAYY!" And then the sound of hysterical laughter coming from my oldest. I laughed, too.
• May was having trouble falling asleep the other night, so Bill suggested she do something boring like count sheep. She said that it's not boring when she counts sheep because her sheep wear silly hats and different clothes. (Huh. Who does that??)
• While I read the scriptures to the kids this morning Baden was lying down with a blanket pulled over his head. I was reading a story about a group of people that were able to choose their own judges and how they rejoiced because of the liberty they had been granted. To make sure Baden was awake I asked him what example he could give me of voting in our lives. May of course is bursting to say the (Presidential) answer, when Baden throws the blanket off and yells, "American Idol!!" May and I cracked up!
• Last one. May, Baden, and Kat have all had the same preschool teacher, Ms. Laura. When I picked Kat up the other day she told me that Kat couldn't wear jewelry or headbands to school anymore because they're too distracting. That made sense. I know how my little girl is. After our talk she said, "Wow Amy, you're a lot easier to talk to with your third child!" Okay.

Well, that's a bit of the silliness from my crazy life. What's going on in yours??

Luvs!

Oh No, It's Starting!

Driving home from a fun afternoon with my children, I was having an innocent conversation with May May and this is what happened to me:

May: "...16 oz equal one pound."

Me: "Oh, I didn't know that."

May: "How could you not know that???"

Baden: (In my defense) "She learned it a long time ago and can't remember so far back. Did you see how old she is??"

Ouch. That's just not right!